Emoting in the Modern Office Environment
is generally frowned upon,
and yet, unavoidable
and so very truly human after all.
The fax machine, the computer (even WordPerfect), the Personal Digital Assistant
are incapable of emoting in any substantive fashion
and yet that cell phone can leak emotional distress worldwide if one pushes the right buttons.
Do watch out for that Dictaphone; that can be trouble.
Intercoms can be quite treacherous as well, but require outside intervention
which often violates company policy in itself
and raises other issues without foreknowledge
that might effect stock values in ways unknown at this time.
Accounting recently received a text message that caused controversy and distress
until it was discovered to be intended for marketing
and was in fact a humorous attempt in dubious taste
with ramifications throughout the industry
that might effect stock values in ways as yet unaccountable.
With no clear company directive from the front office
emoting in the modern office environment
while certain to occur is best done outside of customer contact.
Sobriety is not absolutely required but is encouraged……………….
Please leave a sample with the nurse over at personnel.
Sales has figures from the past six quarters clearly showing
lunar cycles effect point of sale distribution and directly influence
emoting in the modern office environment
(do not use the customer database as announcement list
for resignation emails unless certain of facts and assertions
and willing to produce credible evidence in court).
Statistical analysis might indicate unpredictable stock value fluctuations.
It is then the intention of the board of managing directors
to maintain a veneer of civility over negotiations.
Blue suits and power ties go so well with martinis and Tums,
low carb lunches of wilted radichio and Percoset,
screaming only internally while awaiting installation
of a pressure relief valve on each major artery
in the pursuit of dividend coupons
and one myopic eye on market conditions
riding the swell of favorable BS trends
that bear investigation within fluid stock valuations.
Those requiring further clarification should just sit quietly and think about it.
